The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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