I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
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Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
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Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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