I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
