NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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