And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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