You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
