I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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