Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
