I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
