my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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