Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
