If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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