Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
