Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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