Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
