Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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