Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
