time to smoke my breakfast
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
40s are totally the cure
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
