why didn't you poke me back
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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