I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
