Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
