If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
