i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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