I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
