She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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