Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My life is pants optional.
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