I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
