he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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