Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
