How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
