Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
