I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
