So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
