OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
