go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
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