you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
