I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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