like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I wish there were birth control emojis
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
