This is not my ceiling
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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