Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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