just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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