hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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