I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
