She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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