i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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