We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
