Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
