it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize