Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i drank out of a bidet.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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