Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
