marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
