im about as happy as oj after his trial
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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