I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Farmville is her only friend.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's shark week go big or go home
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
