Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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