why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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