The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
