i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
