make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
you never un-have a 4some
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
