i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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