I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
God, I missed his penis.
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