i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Boobs are out for the taking
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
