Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
