I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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