He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
