Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
