I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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