none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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