Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I fill condoms, not promises.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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